Feeling your feelings is a scary thing for a lot of people. And so, they get shoved away. It’s never a convenient time to feel “bad feelings” – whether they’re anger, sadness, shame or something else. So you learn how to put the feelings aside, cover them up, ignore them enough so you can push through your days.
If you push your “bad” feelings aside for long enough, though, what often happens is that they seep in anyway. And then you’re expending an awful lot of energy to keep pressing forward, while also pushing down the feelings you don’t let – or can’t let – yourself feel.
It is an awful lot of pressure to “feel fine” all the time. And given what’s going on in the world, is that really even possible?
Forcing yourself to always feel fine – no matter what’s going on around you or within you – can leave you feeling disconnected and flat.
Our feelings – even the ones we push away, ignore, or belittle – are important sources of information about what matters to us and what resonates with our goals and dreams. You may have received messages over the years – either explicitly or implicitly – that feelings are bad, that “you’re always such a good girl” or that “crying never helps”.
What would it be like to be curious about where and when those messages became part of your inner dialogue?
I love the Robert Frost quote about “the best way out is always through” and I think it’s especially true around feelings. The more you keep running away from a feeling, the more it will keep coming back. It can be a really challenging thing to stop running, pause, and really look at the feeling. This looking (and perhaps further exploration) is not about solving it or making it go away, but understanding it. It’s about being curious about the feeling, what it feels like in your body, what it brings up for you, how you express it or don’t express it.
Ultimately, being able to know your feelings is being able to know yourself.
If you’re done with pushing away your feelings, and ready to step into deeper connection with and understanding of yourself, I would love to help.