Fall is a season of transition. We move from the heat of summer to the iciness of winter – through chilly mornings, warm afternoons, and falling leaves.
Transitions can be hard – sometimes two steps forward and one step back or one step forward and two steps back.
And sometimes it feels like there are no steps at all – that we are stuck, rooted, in a tight place as things swirl and change around us.
Transitions have a way of knocking us off our foundations and challenging what was once so clear and obvious.
They can be more than seasonal – transitions can come in the form of births and deaths, job loss/searches/new jobs, changing romantic relationships, shifts in friendships, and so much more.
Human beings cling to what is comfortable and familiar – even when we know it may not be good for us, or may feel boring and dull.
When you find yourself in a period of transition, the impulse is probably to rush headlong towards another certainty – the next job, a new boyfriend, more money.
No one likes to be in “that place” – where you don’t know what’s coming and the ground itself feels wobbly.
If transitions (or the mere thought of them) make you feel wobbly and scared, ask yourself these three questions:
1. What am I moving towards? It’s easy to lose sight of the “shore” during periods of transition, to forget what you’re working towards. So name it, whatever it is.
A new job. Financial stability. Love. Ease. Peace. Acceptance. Strength. Connection. Naming it sets your intention and helps keep you connected.
2. Who can I be completely honest with? It can be really hard to keep it all together all the time. While I’m not suggesting that hysterically screaming and crying during a staff meeting is a good idea, it is helpful to have people in your life that you can be completely and totally honest with about how it feels to be in an uncertain place in your life.
Maybe your mom, your fiancé, your best friend, your therapist – someone you know will listen completely and not judge you.
3. How can I be gentle with myself? The impulse during transitions is to always push ourselves harder, to get through it faster. Know that you will reach the end, but how you take care of yourself before you get there is really important.
So be gentle with yourself – take a yoga class, go for a long walk, watch sitcom reruns. Take a moment and breathe.
If you are in a period of transition and want some support to help you move through, I’d love to chat – you can schedule your free 20 minute phone consultation here and learn more about my NYC private practice here.