Want more power?: Start with these 3 questions
Women often have trouble standing in their power. Standing up for yourself can get you called pushy, persistent, or a bitch. Historically, and still today, women have been disempowered.
But power is important. Think for a moment of what comes to mind for you when you think of the word “power”. Whatever comes to you is based on a variety of factors – including your family history, your personality, and your own lived experiences. Power can be expressed and embodied in so many different ways.
Power is presence
Your presence is how you carry yourself in this world – how you want to be seen and heard.
When you can stand in your power, it can really change things. Start by asking yourself these 3 questions.
1. What role am I filling right now? We all have many different parts of ourselves, many different roles we step into in our personal and professional lives. Sometimes you may be the good daughter, the dutiful employee, the bad girl. All of these roles – and many more – are always possible. In any given day, you may embody several different roles.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself (with as little judgement as possible) – Which part of me is leading right now? What role am I embodying? Does this part or role feel powerful? Naming what’s going on right now is the first step towards embodying change.
2. Who – or what – is my model of power? It’s helpful to have something to reach towards. So think – is there someone in your life who embodies power in the way you would like to? It can be someone you know very well or not well at all. Think about friends, colleagues, family members.
And consider the what – is there a song that is your model of power? A color? A piece of art? I often work with clients around connecting with a song (or a particular singer) that embodies a sense of power.
3. How can I express power safely? You don’t need to be powerful all the time – just like you don’t need to be soft and tender all the time. If power is a new (or scary) experience for you, how might you safely express and embody it? It doesn’t have to be for an extended period of time – in fact, being able to step in and out of an expression of power is an important ability.
When can you express power? Maybe it’s when you’re singing, or biking, or driving. Maybe you feel power when you cook, or when you can fix something people think unfixable, or when you solve a hard math problem. No expression of power is too small a place to start – what you focus on with intention can grow.
Once you have answers to these 3 questions, you can begin to bring your embodied and creative sense of power into your life in small and intentional ways.
About the Author
Maya is a music therapist and psychotherapist in NYC and online throughout New York State. She specializes in helping women with anxiety, childhood/intergenerational trauma and those who are highly sensitive (HSP) feel good enough, learn how to express their feelings without overwhelm, and show up in calm and confident ways in their work and relationships.
If you’re interested in working with Maya, you can learn more here or schedule your free phone consultation here.
You don’t have to stay stuck - it’s time to reclaim your rhythm.