Improvising May Be Hard For You (but This Is Why It Matters)
Improvising May Be Hard For You (but This Is Why It Matters)
Improvising is really scary for a lot of people.
A quick note before we go any further: I am a music therapist, so I’m talking about musical improvisation, to some degree. But I’m also about improvising in general, in life, in everyday, unpredictable moments.
Improvisation doesn’t necessarily come naturally to us. Often, we’re taught that being put together is the best way to be. You may have been praised for this by parents or teachers when you were young. Or, you may have been judged for being unprepared or messy or just “too much” in some way.
If improvising is hard for you, there’s a good chance that “making it up as you go along” wasn’t appreciated and celebrated when you were a kid. You may have decided - or been told - that preparation and perfection were the only way to go.
But, the reality is that life is messy and unpredictable and never completely knowable. We need to improvise. We have to respond in the moment to whatever happens - hopefully with a flexible and adaptable nervous system.
Improvising means being flexible and creative and responsive. Improvising means being able to meet uncertainties and unexpected challenges in life.
3 reasons why improvising and “making it up as you go along” might be hard for you
You have anxiety.
What if I told you that improvisation is the opposite of anxiety. Anxiety wants to know what is going to happen, how you’ll respond and every step after that. Anxiety wants you to be ready to adapt to 62 possible variations of what might happen next. The problem is that it just isn’t possible to know everything.
And thinking (and thinking) about everything is likely keeping you stuck in your head and disconnected from yourself, other people, and your ability to experience pleasure, joy, and play. Your anxiety may also be hyper-attuned to concerns about doing something wrong or being messy or imperfect. Since that’s 100% certain to happen when you improvise - again, whether musically or in life - you may feel like improvisation just isn’t for you.
You’ve experienced trauma in your life.
Experiencing any kind of trauma, but especially childhood and intergenerational trauma, can cause you to disconnect from a sense of creativity and play and ease. Your brain and nervous system try to keep you safe (which is what they’re designed to do!).
A history of trauma can keep you from trying new things or feeling comfortable in uncertain situations. Trauma can also affect your need to be in control of situations and cause you to avoid the “gray areas” of life.
You never learned how.
Many of us weren’t taught the power and potential of improvisation. You might have actively learned the opposite, like me.
I was a classically trained singer (think Italian arias and fancy vocal trills) from my early teens through college. There is no improvising in classical singing. You stand up on stage and sing your song, following the notes on the page. I also did a lot of vocal competitions, which scored each aspect of technique and performance quite closely. I internalized a lot of these experiences into an internal self-critic, both musically and otherwise. I did, however, learn to improvise musically in music therapy graduate school (after many deer in the headlights moments) – and have learned to improvise when I sing and play, despite my own anxiety in other parts of my life.
It’s not just the creative experiences that shape your relationship with improvisation. Maybe you grew up in a family that prized product over process or that valued structure and backup plans over “winging it.”
So many of my clients struggle with improvising. It’s a skill we need for life. It’s not inherent, but it can be learned.
How music therapy can help you learn to “go with the flow” in all aspects of life
Improvising musically can be a powerful, brand-new experience. It can be difficult for both musicians and non-musicians (see my personal story above), so it doesn’t matter if you’ve ever played an instrument before.
We might start improvising in really simple ways in a session. Sometimes that looks like choosing an instrument that represents a certain feeling or idea. You might play it, you might not. Sometimes it looks like finding a simple sound or gesture to represent an emotion, relationship, or other struggle.
Improvising doesn’t have to look and sound like a jazz quartet, endlessly riffing off of each other, in order to be valuable and meaningful.
Improvising in a music therapy session can look like…
using our voices together to hum and noticing how we’re affected by each other’s tone, breath, and melody.
playing a drum to represent a tense interaction with their boss (and noticing how similar energies show up in other relationships)
picking up a brand new instrument and working through old worries about getting it wrong or being criticized
These are just a few examples out of many. I use my extensive experience with improvising, my knowledge of trauma and the nervous system, my own experiences and training and our collaboration to craft in-session experiences that feel both safe and gently challenging.
Here’s one of the most important things to understand: Improvising musically in a session is not performative, it’s reparative.
The more that you can experience positive, playful, creative, and messy situations, the better you’ll be able to respond to whatever comes your way next. You’ll be able to access flexibility, intuition, and creativity in the face of challenges.
Do you struggle with improvising? Reach out for therapy in New York City
If you’re struggling with improvising and making it up as you go along, know that you’re not alone. Stuckness can be a complex experience, and your thoughts are just one small part of figuring this out.
I’d love to help you figure out what makes improvising hard for you, and begin to explore how you can access a sense of creativity and flexibility, even in tough situations. If you’re interested in working together, you can learn more about me here and schedule your free phone consultation here.
About the Author
Maya is a music therapist and psychotherapist in NYC and online throughout New York State. She specializes in helping women with anxiety, childhood/intergenerational trauma and those who are highly sensitive (HSP) feel good enough, learn how to express their feelings without overwhelm, and show up in calm and confident ways in their work and relationships.
If you’re interested in working with Maya, you can learn more here or schedule your free phone consultation here.
You don’t have to stay stuck - it’s time to reclaim your rhythm.