4 Things to Try When You’re Feeling Stuck

4 Things to Try When You’re Feeling Stuck

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Feeling stuck is something that happens to all of us. You might be having the same fights over and over, feel stuck in anxious thought spirals, or constantly be thinking about what to do next.

However it’s showing up – you’re stuck. And you’re frustrated.

You’ve tried to journal, strategize and to-do list your way out of this uncomfortable place. And yet you’re still feeling stuck. 

You know you’re smart, you know you’re capable, and yet you’re still in the same place. And it’s frustrating. So rather than keep spinning your wheels in the mud, it’s time for something different.

Our cognitive, achievement-based world wants us to believe that if we only try hard enough, think hard enough or do enough that we’ll get unstuck.

But stuckness doesn’t just happen in your thoughts (although it definitely happens there). It’s also in your tight muscles, your shallow breath, your spinning thoughts, and the way you keep having the same fight with your partner or roommate or parents.

So it’s time to try something new.

4 things to try when you’re feeling stuck:

1. Stop thinking. 

Yes, I said it. You’re probably thinking too much, and it’s probably not helping. And there is a difference between thinking and feeling. 

And you need a break - constantly being in your head is exhausting you and making you feel tired and overwhelmed all the time. 

So even if it’s for only 2 minutes - find a way to stop thinking. Watch the birds outside your window. Dance to your favorite song. Scrub your sink hard. 

If your thoughts try to come back in, try telling them “thanks, not now. You can come back later.” (I know it might feel weird to talk to your thoughts, but as I tell my clients - weird is different, and different means something is changing).

2. Get back into your body. 

Anxiety and stuckness have a way of keeping you in your head, spinning in thoughts and what-ifs. And yes, we need to be able to think. But we also need to be able to feel fully. And you can’t feel fully (and get unstuck) if you’re only living in your thoughts.

One of my favorite ways to get back into my body is to choose a piece of music that has some movement and momentum and energy to it, one that I can’t help but move to. 

Find a way to get back into your body that feels good and safe to you – maybe that’s laying on the floor, or watering your plants, or stretching your arms overhead as you exhale.

A small movement is just as meaningful as a big one, so try not to put pressure on yourself to do 30 mins of yoga or go for a 5 mile run, if that’s not where you are right now.

3. Recognize what the stuckness is trying to do. 

The reality is that the stuckness is probably trying to protect you. At some point your nervous system learned that the opposite of stuckness – taking up space, feeling confident, saying no, being angry – was not okay and not safe. You may have learned this explicitly or implicitly - it doesn’t matter so much (at least not right now). 

Our nervous systems are always wired towards safety, and so yours has learned that stuckness feels safest. The good news is - It is absolutely possible to teach your nervous system something else. 

Take a moment to notice what shifts internally as you consider that the stuckness is trying to help you, instead of something you have to fight and struggle and persevere against. Does something inside of you soften, even just a little bit?

4. Connect to your inner resources. 

A big part of the work that I do with my clients is helping them connect to their inner resources - feelings, thoughts, memories that are a source of support. These may be feelings like calmness, grounding, joy, ease. 

When you’re feeling stuck you may think “I’ll be happy when I figure out x” or ease may feel like something you need to earn.

The reality is, inner resources can be a huge help in this process. It’s like making sure you have a backpack full of supplies before heading off into the wilderness, instead of roughing it. 

Feeling connected to moments of ease as you unravel why you’re stuck and how to get moving can actually help the process move faster. It doesn’t mean you’re slacking – it means you’re being gentle with yourself. 

Because let’s face it – if being hard on yourself and pushing yourself was the way to get unstuck, you would have gotten there already.

There’s no one single type of inner resource, so just pick one word or feeling that resonates for you. Let’s go with ease since I’ve mentioned it a few times (it’s a big one for me personally).

Here are a few ways to invite in some ease right now:

• Can you invite a bit more ease into your body? (I dropped my shoulders and exhaled as I wrote this).

• What’s a ease-ful memory you have? Can be recent or long ago. Write down any feelings, colors, sensations you remember.

• Listen to a piece of music that connects you to ease. 

• Find an object around you that connects to ease. It doesn’t need to make any logical sense. Let yourself notice the texture, the color, the shape of it.

After you connect to ease (or any other inner resource), take a moment to go back to the stuckness.

Has it changed at all? Do you feel a bit farther from it? See if you can hold onto 5% of the ease. Connecting to inner resources is not a one and done thing – in life or in therapy. 

Still feeling stuck? Reach out for therapy in New York

If you’re still struggling with feeling stuck, know that you’re not alone. Stuckness can be a complex experience, and your thoughts are just one small part of figuring this out. 

I’d love to help you figure out what’s keeping you stuck, and begin to get unstuck in a way that invites connections between your thoughts, your feelings and your nervous system. Music therapy can help you connect with your inner resources in a playful and creative way, and unravel the stuckness so you can take clear and confident action on the changes you want to make in your life.

If you’re interested in working together, you can learn more about me here and schedule your free phone consultation here.

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About the Author

Maya is a music therapist and psychotherapist in NYC and online throughout New York State. She specializes in helping women with anxiety, childhood/intergenerational trauma and those who are highly sensitive (HSP) get unstuck from repetitive cycles, learn how to express their feelings without overwhelm, and show up in calm and confident ways in their work and relationships.

If you’re interested in working with Maya, you can learn more here or schedule your free phone consultation here. 

You don’t have to stay stuck - it’s time to reclaim your rhythm.