What does a typical therapy session look like?
What does a typical therapy session look like?
Potential clients often ask me what a typical therapy session looks like.
I wish I had a quick and easy way to answer this.
The truth is - every session will likely look and feel a little different.
I don’t work in a pre-set, cookie-cutter sort of way. I tell new clients that I believe deeply in us working together as a team, figuring out the pace and direction of our work as we go. And I believe that.
I shape each of my sessions holding you - your history, your family, your identity, your nervous system, what may have happened to you since last week’s session - very deeply in mind.
I think this question also comes up because my work as a music therapist is a little more unusual than your typical talk therapist. I definitely talk with my clients, but weaving in music and creativity lets us really work in a deeper way.
The music is a tool in the therapy process that can help you explore and understand your thoughts, feelings and relationships in a different way. Sometimes music feels safer than words or reaches feelings or memories that words alone can’t. (ie. those moments where you might think “I just don’t have the words for this...”)
There are 3 main elements that are usually part of my sessions. In this post I’ll walk you through each one and then give some ideas about how each one could look in a typical session.
Comfort and safety are an essential part of therapy sessions
It’s really important to connect with a sense of comfort in our sessions together. You feeling comfortable with me, with the pace and direction of our work is so important. I want you to feel that I try to get you, that I’m okay if you draw a boundary or say I misunderstood you, that I care deeply about you.
Without that connection and safety in place, it’s really hard to make any significant progress on your goals. I love when clients tell me that they feel comfortable with me - and I value showing up as a whole person - jeggings, Fuck 2016 mug and all.
Comfort in your body & your nervous system
I’m going to imagine that your nervous system doesn’t really feel comfortable right now - either feeling too revved up and anxious or too flat and disconnected. Learning how to pay attention to information from your nervous system and provide it with comfort is a big part of therapy - especially therapy for anxiety, childhood trauma and high sensitivity.
It’s really hard to move out of being stuck in your work or relationships if your nervous system is still stuck in familiar patterns too. So we’ll gently interrupt that habit and remind your body and your internal voice that you deserve comfort now.
How comfort can look in a session:
breathing and simple body-based exercises
learning about concepts like the window of tolerance
listening to and discussing some of your favorite songs
asking you how our pace feels / if you have feedback or questions
Gentle challenges during a therapy session can invite change
In order for change to happen, some gentle challenges or nudges are needed. Part of my job is to offer those opportunities to pause, notice when you’re stuck in a familiar loop, to try something different, to ask questions from my own curiosity.
Together we’ll figure out the space between too comfortable (ie. talking through the same anxiety loops over and over) and too uncomfortable (ie. when your defenses come up hard and you shut down).
We’ll move back and forth between comfort and gentle challenge - sometimes in the same session or from session to session.
This way I can help you both develop your own internal resources/strengths and also look at whatever has brought you to therapy - whether that’s anxiety, unhealthy family dynamics, being a highly sensitive person (HSP), feeling overwhelmed or stuck (or something else!).
How gentle challenges can look in a session:
inviting you to pause and slow down
helping you make connections between what’s happening now and what may have happened before in your life (or even before you were born)
asking thoughtful questions about what you’re noticing - sensations in your body or images/thoughts in your mind
inviting you to express/explore a feeling in a different way (maybe a song, or a quick shape on the page, or a physical gesture to represent it)
exploring a longer creative expression of a feeling or memory together (see some examples below)
Creative exploration is an important part of sessions
Being creative often means being connected to a sense of lightness, exploration, pleasure, joy, spontaneity, play. If you think of the last time you felt creative I bet at least part of you felt a bit of those feelings.
Being creative also means feeling more connected to your body and to a sense of curiosity - both of which are super valuable in therapy sessions. Music can naturally invite us into creative places, with no musical skills needed, and can be a way to express feelings that you have a hard time expressing in words.
In addition, we’ll use creativity in sessions as a way to explore difficult feelings. Creatively exploring your anxiety or a repetitive fight or difficult family dynamics can feel very different than just talking about it - and when something feels different, it offers the opportunity for change.
Why creativity matters for your mental health
If you can feel more connected to your own creativity in our sessions, then over time you’ll be able to feel more connected to creativity out of session. Our feelings are not black and white (as much as you may want them to be) but complex and nuanced. Creativity helps us live in the “gray” spaces of texture and surprise and connection and spontaneity.
Deepening your connection to your own creativity means you can be more creative in how you respond - to your own critical internal voice, to a familiar dynamic or fight with someone else, to your own overwhelming feelings. Creativity can be messy and unpredictable and yet so enjoyable at the same time – a great metaphor for moving through life.
How creative exploration can look in a session:
exploring vocal psychotherapy techniques together (simple vocal sounds, breathing, songs and improvisation)
using instruments to identify roles and play out familiar patterns
Music & Imagery experiences (combining deep intentional listening to recorded music with simple visual imagery)
finding & listening to recorded music that represents different feelings
Want to learn more about therapy sessions with me? Reach out!
If you’re looking for a therapist in NYC or online anywhere in NY state, I’d love to connect. You can learn more about me or set up your free 20 minute phone consultation here.
I look forward to connecting with you soon!
About the Author
Maya is a music therapist and psychotherapist in NYC and online throughout New York State.
She specializes in helping women with anxiety, childhood/intergenerational trauma and those who are highly sensitive (HSP) feel good enough, learn how to express their feelings without overwhelm, and show up in calm and confident ways in their work and relationships.
If you’re interested in working with Maya, you can learn more here or schedule your free phone consultation here.
You don’t have to stay stuck - it’s time to reclaim your rhythm.