How Music & Imagery Can Help You “Sit With” Tough Feelings
How Music & Imagery Can Help You “Sit With” Tough Feelings
“Just sit with it” is a challenge for most of us.
I often hear my clients say some version of “I know I have to sit with this shitty/uncomfortable/difficult feeling, but how…?”
When you don’t know how – or don’t want to – sit with a difficult feeling, you’ll usually just end up ignoring it or trying to push it away. This will ultimately only give that difficult feeling more power and intensity.
And talking about it – which is what we humans in a cognitive, figure-it-out kind of world tend to do – is usually not the most helpful thing. On the other hand, thinking about the feeling over and over will probably leave you stuck in anxiety spirals, which isn’t helpful either!
So, what can you do?
Instead of just talking or thinking about a tough feeling, incorporating music and imagery into therapy can help you sit with the feeling - and ultimately understand it - in a more creative and complete way.
Your nervous system is probably used to a certain way of dealing with feelings. You have your own combination of talking, thinking about, or ignoring things. And it’s really easy to just follow the familiar path, even if it’s uncomfortable or ultimately unhelpful.
We are wired to repeat what we know – until we try something different. Music and imagery can help you tend to your nervous system and your feelings in a different way. Trying a new approach is what ultimately leads to change and insight.
How music and imagery can help in a therapy session
I don’t just invite clients to do this work. It’s a vital part of my process too.
Usually when I share about my music and imagery practice, the images are light and bright. That’s because I often focus my music and imagery time on resourcing - connecting to and deepening inner strengths.
Connecting to our inner strengths is SO important.
But, it’s not the only thing to do in therapy or the only way music and imagery helps.
During a recent conversation with my supervisor (another therapist who I meet with regularly as a way to keep refining my clinical skills), we decided the feeling I needed to work on was fear. I chose music that matched my experience of fear and created this image as I listened.
The process of identifying the feeling to focus on and choosing music is really important. When I start this process with clients I’ll ask them to really get specific about the feeling. Sometimes that means noticing how it shows up in their body or how it connects to a specific memory. Some possible options include: fear, anxiety, feeling stuck, anger, and shame. (Though pretty much any challenging feeling is an option!)
Then, I will offer some music options and invite them to listen to a snippet of each (usually around 45 seconds or so), and see if it connects to the feeling. We really take our time with this part, and notice what it’s like to slow down around focusing on this feeling.
Once a piece of music is chosen, I will let it play on repeat while my client creates an image on a piece of paper. This isn’t about being a good artist, but rather about staying with the feeling as expressed in the music, and just putting that experience onto the page. Shapes, lines, colors are all welcome.
What I learned about my fear through music & imagery
By sitting with the fear in this way during my supervision session I was able to notice new and surprising things - how it actually felt less scary than I thought, how I was very clear about what I wanted to draw, how I actually didn't feel frozen, and so much more.
Exploring the difference between what I thought would happen when focusing on the fear and what actually happened was key. So often our anticipation of a feeling is different than the actual feeling.
By having the feeling expressed both on a piece of paper and in the music, it also allowed me to have some distance from it. Talking or thinking about a feeling just keeps it in the same internal loops in your body and mind. That changes when you see the feeling represented outside of your body, on the page.
I was able to then take these rich insights and incorporate them into my understanding of the situation that was causing me to feel fear.
If I had simply talked about the fear - something that I'm very comfortable doing - I couldn’t have had the same healing experience. Talking can easily lead me in circles (as it had been doing before this experience), but making art and tuning into a specific piece of music really helped transform my relationship to my fear.
Music and imagery offers such a rich opportunity for learning more about your inner world and those tricky feelings that you probably keep thinking about over and over - and you don’t need any musical or artistic skill to benefit!
Looking for therapy in New York? Let’s see if we’re a fit
If you’re finding that just talking or thinking about your feelings isn’t helping you move forward, I get it.
Music and imagery, along with other creative techniques in music therapy sessions, can help you understand your feelings more deeply and completely. Once you understand your feelings – and can feel them with less overwhelm – it’s easier to move forward and make changes in your life.
If you’re interested in working together, you can learn more about me here and schedule your free phone consultation here.
About the Author
Maya is a music therapist and psychotherapist in NYC and online throughout New York State.
She deeply enjoys helping people learn how to sit with and work through tough feelings like anxiety, fear and anger through Music & Imagery and other creative techniques. She has completed Levels 1 & 2 of Music & Imagery post-graduate training at the Institute for Music and Consciousness with Dr. Lisa Summer, and will begin Level 3 in 2024.
Her specialties are anxiety, childhood trauma, and high sensitivity (HSP).
If you’re interested in working with Maya, you can get your frequently asked questions answered or schedule your free phone consultation here.
You don’t have to stay stuck - it’s time to reclaim your rhythm.